If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
