This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Randomize
