wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
