Someone shit on the floor
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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