I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
