maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
We had sex on a dog bed..
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
