Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
