the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
