your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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