A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Well I just put wine in my tea
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
