Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
