cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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