I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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