This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize