theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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