I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
