Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
