I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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