so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I love having hate sex.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
