Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
