garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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