My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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