the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
