she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
