Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
