i just had sex bonerless
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Randomize
