oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
