I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize