so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
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