I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
