All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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