nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
