Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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