Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize