Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
