This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
