i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Even my vagina gasped.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
