i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
