Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
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