ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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