I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
