oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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