forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
