What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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