I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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