I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
