no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
