so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize
