i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
