I swear she didn't look like that last week.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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