why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
