I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
