Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
