Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
it's like iHOP with fire
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
