eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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