last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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