eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
