I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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