glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
