At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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