ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
