I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Randomize
