I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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